1) My Tinder bio says I have a corner office with views of the entire city, drive a $500K vehicle, and that I'm paid to travel.
Wonder why my dates never seem too happy when I tell them I'm a bus driver.

2) Last night my girlfriend dressed up as a policewoman and told me I was under arrest on suspicion of being too good in bed....
2 minutes later she told me all charges were dropped due to lack of evidence.

3) My wife left me because I am insecure.
No wait, she's back. She just went to get coffee only.

4) I got fired from my job because I kept asking our customers whether they would prefer "Smoking" or "Non-smoking".
Apparently the correct terms are "Cremation" or "Burial".

5) America seems to have successfully prevented a second wave of COVID....
by keeping the 1st one going!

6) Steve Jobs would have made a better President than Donald Trump.
But that's comparing Apples to Oranges.

7) What is a Karen called in Europe? (Karen = meme referencing a specific type of middle class white woman who exhibits behaviors that stem from overprivileged people.
An American

My wife just completed a 40-week body building program this morning.
It's a girl and weighs 7 pounds 12 ounces.

9) Today I was invited by a female janitor to her apartment but I politely declined.
I can't deal with high maintenance women.

10) My roomate says our house is haunted.
I have been living here 300 years and haven't noticed anything unusual.

11) My girlfriend asked me to name all my sexual partners in order.
I guess I should have stopped when I got to her name.

6-8-9-11.(likes ).....thích # 6 nhất ....very good one

#11

Why did the tomato blush? Because it saw the salad dressing.