I was walking down the street when I was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless woman who asked me for a couple of dollars for dinner.
I took out my wallet, got out ten dollars and asked, “If I give you this money, will you buy some wine with it instead of dinner?”

“No, I had to stop drinking years ago,” the homeless woman told me.
“Will you use it to go shopping instead of buying food?” I asked.
“No, I don’t waste time shopping,” the homeless woman said. “I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive.”
“Will you spend this on a beauty salon instead of food?” I asked.
“Are you NUTS?!?” replied the homeless woman. “I haven’t had my hair done in 20 years!”
“Well,” I said, “I’m not going to give you the money. Instead, I’m going to take you out for dinner with my husband and me tonight.”
The homeless woman was shocked. “Won’t your husband be furious with you for doing that? I know I’m dirty, and I probably smell pretty disgusting.”

I said, “That’s okay. It’s important for him to see what a woman looks like after she has given up shopping, hair appointments, and wine.”

Two married buddies are out drinking one night when one turns to the other.
"You know, I don't know what else to do. Whenever I go home after we've been out drinking, I turn the headlights off before I get to the driveway. I shut off the engine and coast into the garage. I take my shoes off before I go into the house, I sneak up the stairs, I get undressed in the bathroom, I ease into bed – and my wife STILL wakes up and yells at me for staying out so late!"
His buddy looks at him and says, "Well, you're obviously taking the wrong approach. I screech into the driveway, slam the door, storm up the steps, throw my shoes into the closet, jump into bed, rub my hands on my wife's a** and say, 'How about a good lay?' ...and she's always sound asleep."

Darcy had to raise a kid on her own because her so-called man of the house was always out at the bar with his friends, and when he wasn’t, he was always slacking off at home.
She called up her mother-in-law during a particularly hard day, whom she wasn’t always on the best of terms with because she tended to side with her son rather than offer the woman any sort of support.

Darcy asked, “Could you tell me who changes the child if it poops itself? Is it the dad or the mom?”

“It is always the mother, honey,” said the mother-in-law condescendingly.
“Okay then,” said Darcy. “Could you come over please? Your son got drunk and sh*t himself.”

con dâu dám chơi khâm má chồng

8DonCo wrote:

con dâu dám chơi khâm má chồng

Mai mốt con dâu tui hỏi câu đó thì tui sẽ trả lời nếu nó còn nhỏ thì Mommy has to take care. Còn nếu nó lớn và có vợ rồi thì bà vợ phải take care!